IN THE WORDS OF STUPID

I KNOW , I KNOW, BUT YA KNOW, YA NEVER KNOW.

SO FAR, SO WHAT.

THE CLOSER YOU ARE, THE NEARER IT GETS.

IF IT'S THE TRUTH, IT'S FUNNY.

DON'T PELORIAN.

NOT JUST ANOTHER STUPID RELIGION, THE STUPID RELIGION.

WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR OURSELVES.

WHERE ENOUGH IS PLENTY.

HE'S LATER THAN YOU THINK.

STUPID HEELS.

SAY "HEY STUPID" FOR LUCK. IF IT DOESN"T BRING YOU LUCK MAYBE IT WON"T BRING YOU BAD LUCK...IF YOU'RE LUCKY.

GO FORTH , TAKE THE FIFTH, AND KEEP TWO SETS OF BOOKS. HE'S THE PROFIT OF THE BOTTOM LINE.

HE'S IT AND THAT'S THAT.

STUPID AND AMUSING, NOT STUPID AND COUNTER PRODUCTIVE.

HE'S THE WHOLE IN THE DONUT.

REMEMBER, DON'T FORGET,,,,uh... no it's DON'T FORGET, REMEMBER......er...uh...no, maybe it is '' REMEMBER, DON'T FORGET''......or is it...........................?

WHY ANOTHER CHURCH

All religions are based on fear and/or guilt. The FIRST CHURCH OF THE LAST LAUGH is based on stupidity, which is the state of mind/being that precedes fear/guilt. Stupidity is the one thing that unites our species. Regardless of race, color or storage capacity, we are all doomed and driven by our inate genetic stupidity. Try as we might to rise above, cover up, beat down or ignore it, we all have moments of stupidness. Our church and our saint celebrate this unavoidablity on the appropriate day not to encourage stupid behavior but give homage to it. We don't have to encourage breathing or hunger...it happens naturally. Maybe by giving stupid it's due it might leave us alone just a little.

HA!

F. Zappa penned in his autobiography that scientists believe that the most prevalent element in the universe is hydrogen. Not so sez Frank, stupidity is.

Recomended reading: THE NATURAL HISTORY OF STUPIDITY by Paul Tabori, Barnes and Noble press 1993

OATH

I PLEDGE ALLIGENCE, TO THE ILLUSION
AND TO THE PYRAMID SCHEME FOR WHICH IT STANDS.
ONE NATION, ONE SPECIES, IN DENIAL
WITH ERROR AND EXCESS BY ALL.

then hold hand out palm up and say 
THAT'S THE WAY HE WOULD HAVE WANTED IT
slap forehead
HAD HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

THE BLESSING

TO BE SAID WHILST GAZING UPON HIS IMAGE. THIS IS SAINT STUPID, A LITTLE KNOWN SAINT, FOUR FOOT TWO , FOUR FOOT THREE, PATRON SAINT OF CIVILIZATIONS AND PARKING METERS, I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT, YOU'RE NOT CATHOLIC ARE YOU, I DIDN'T THINK SO. I'M NOT BISHOP JOEY, SEMINAL AND SECULAR HEAD OF THE FIRST CHURCH OF THE LAST LAUGH, WORLD'S FASTEST GROWING SNACK RELIGION, IT'S A LITE RELIGION, ONE WHOLLY DAY A YEAR, TODAY ISN'T IT BUT APRIL FIRST IS. IN THE NAME OF YOGI, BOO-BOO AND THE HOLY SHIT, HERE'S YOUR BLESSING I HOPE IT STICKS (flip your self up). WISE UP AND REMEMBER THESE WORDS: I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER KNOW.
do the secret handshake...
YOU'VE HEARD OF THE HIGH FIVE, WE DO THE HIGH FOUR. HOLD YOUR HAND UP, FOLD THE THUMB ACROSS THE PALM AND SLAM YOUR HAND AGINST YOUR FOREHEAD (solo) OR PARTNER'S HAND, AT HIGH SPEED, AND GO '' OUCH, WE GOT TO CHANGE THAT''

THE PARABLE OF STUPID

The seeker did travel the long and arduous path to find the master and when at last he came apon him he asked the question that weighed the most on his mind... "Why oh why does luck never last?"
And Saint Stupid replied..."Unluck never lasts, so what's your problem?"